llaurie

http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html
Geeky German Boy

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

So i've spent the three days since Christmas with a big rash on my face. Prolly from eating some msg laced food at K's parents on The Day. I looked like a sharpei for two days and now just have a patch of dried sunburnt looking skin under my eyes..blech.
I've knit tons..nearly finished my coat sweater then decided i hate it.
Made a hat for K's nephew who will be up later this week. Made myself a hood/scarf thing and mittens from wool i got from my secret santa at work. Today i've nearly finished a cardigan for the newest baby nephew who we will finally get to see tomorrow. I had some nice grey/white/black tweed which has worked well this. Not the usual baby colour but really nice.
Watched a lot of movies..today it was 'Frequency" on Space. I loved it.
Heard an interesting discussion on CBC radio this am. Guy wrote a book stating that _any_ religion is bad for the human race. He maintains that especially moderates are bad as they are inclusive and include those in denominations that have ethnocentric right wing beliefs. I'm going to try to find more info on it ; i'll post it here if i do.
Back to work tomorrow so getting up at 3:45 am again. Woot. Not. Ah well only three more weeks of it at the most.
K made an awesome ham dinner on the 26th. Put brown sugar on the ham and poured coke over it. Wonderful! The man is a god in the kitchen...and possibly elsewhere ;P
I'm off to make pea soup with the leftovers

Martin Luther King's Acceptance Speech, on the occasion of the award of the Nobel Peace Peace Prize in Oslo, December 10, 1964

Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness, Mr. President, Excellencies, Ladies and Gentlemen:

I accept the Nobel Prize for Peace at a moment when 22 million Negroes of the United States of America are engaged in a creative battle to end the long night of racial injustice. I accept this award on behalf of a civil rights movement which is moving with determination and a majestic scorn for risk and danger to establish a reign of freedom and a rule of justice. I am mindful that only yesterday in Birmingham, Alabama, our children, crying out for brotherhood, were answered with fire hoses, snarling dogs and even death. I am mindful that only yesterday in Philadelphia, Mississippi, young people seeking to secure the right to vote were brutalized and murdered. And only yesterday more than 40 houses of worship in the State of Mississippi alone were bombed or burned because they offered a sanctuary to those who would not accept segregation. I am mindful that debilitating and grinding poverty afflicts my people and chains them to the lowest rung of the economic ladder.

Therefore, I must ask why this prize is awarded to a movement which is beleagured and committed to unrelenting struggle; to a movement which has not won the very peace and brotherhood which is the essense of the Nobel Prize.

After contemplation, I conclude that this award which I receive on behalf of that movement is a profound recognition that nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral question of our time - - the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to violence and oppression. Civilization and violence are antithetical concepts. Negroes of the United States, following the people of India, have demonstrated that nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation. Sooner or later all the people of the world will have to discover a way to live together in peace, and thereby transform this pending cosmic elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood, If this is to be achieved, man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.

The tortuous road which has led from Montgomery, Alabama, to Oslo bears witness to this truth. This is a road over which millions of Negroes are travelling to find a new sense of dignity. This same road has opened for all Americans a new era of progress and hope. It has led to a new Civil Rights Bill, and it will, I am convinced, be widened and lengthened into a super highway of justice as Negro and white men in increasing numbers create alliances to overcome their common problems.

I accept this award today with an abiding faith in America and an audacious faith in the future of mankind. I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history. I refuse to accept the idea that the "isness" of man's present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the eternal "oughtness" that forever confronts him. I refuse to accept the idea that man is mere flotsom and jetsom in the river of life unable to influence the unfolding events which surround him. I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality.

I refuse to accept the cynical notion that nation after nation must spiral down a militaristic stairway into the hell of thermonuclear destruction. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. I believe that even amid today's motor bursts and whining bullets, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow. I believe that wounded justice, lying prostrate on the blood-flowing streets of our nations, can be lifted from this dust of shame to reign supreme among the children of men. I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits. I believe that what self-centered men have torn down men other-centered can build up. I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed, and nonviolent redemptive good will proclaimed the rule of the land. "And the lion and the lamb shall lie down together and every man shall sit under his own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid." I still believe that We Shall overcome!

This faith can give us courage to face the uncertainties of the future. It will give our tired feet new strength as we continue our forward stride toward the city of freedom. When our days become dreary with low-hovering clouds and our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, we will know that we are living in the creative turmoil of a genuine civilization struggling to be born.

Today I come to Oslo as a trustee, inspired and with renewed dedication to humanity. I accept this prize on behalf of all men who love peace and brotherhood. I say I come as a trustee, for in the depths of my hear! I am aware that this prize is much more than an honor to me personally.

Every time I take a flight, I am always mindful of the many people who make a successful journey possible - the known pilots and the unknown ground crew.

So you honor the dedicated pilots of our struggle who have sat at the controls as the freedom movement soared into orbit. You honor, once again, Chief Lutuli of South Africa, whose struggles with and for his people, are still met with the most brutal expression of man's inhumanity to man. You honor the ground crew without whose labor and sacrifices the jet flights to freedom could never have left the earth. Most of these people will never make the headline and their names will not appear in Who's Who. Yet when years have rolled past and when the blazing light of truth is focused on this marvelous age in which we live - men and women will know and children will be taught that we have a finer land, a better people, a more noble civilization - because these humble children of God were willing to suffer for righteousness sake.

I think Alfred Nobel would know what I mean when I say that I accept this award in the spirit of a curator of some precious heirloom which he holds in trust for its true owners - all those to whom beauty is truth and truth beauty - and in whose eyes the beauty of genuine brotherhood and peace is more precious than diamonds or silver or gold.

From Les Prix Nobel 1964.

Commitment

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.

It is the words that speak louder than words.

It is making time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year.

Commitment is the stuff character is made of, the power to change the face of things.

It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism

********************************************************************
The above is how i feel about our relationship. We are committed to each other.The ' in love' part is giddy and sexy: the committment part is the rock.
I've just noticed that i've never let myself feel the giddy part really until now ..in this relationship..where i've felt the commitment :)

We missed going to the party at Lisa's last night..K was feeling sick and i was exhausted. I don't think i will ever work this shift again because all i can do is work and sleep during it. This is not good when its the holidaze and K is on afternoons...picture Christmas going to hell in a hand basket ( nicely decorated with bows of course) I just can't seem to get it together to finish stuff. So this afternoon will be all the shopping i do..i'm glad christmas with my kids will be in january.
We did get 10 dozen chocolate mice made yesterday though :) a mice army on the kitchen table!
off to set up the tree

Didja ever notice people don't really want real honesty? Honestly they don't.
They want soft answers.
In a birthday card today i put a biblical quote from proverbs " Faithful are the wounds of a friend" . To me, that means a person who really cares about you might say something harsh..but if it's honest and not self centered on their part, it's a 'faithful' wound. In other words, you might get hurt feelings but you see it's the freindship and caring that allows the friend to hurt you because it's going to help heal you.
Lots of people bullshit others. They can make you think you are their friend or that they like you or they can manipulate you. I feel you have two ways to take this ( provided you see whats going on and aren't taken in by their ways)
1. You can become angry and or bitter. You can be hurt.
2. You can maintain your own dignity,and let them know you aren't taken in by the bs. You can actively love them by accepting that they are this way and are hurting theirselves more than anyone.

I'm not explaining this well. I'm going to bed.

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.—Herman Melville

Sometimes the only thing that makes you feel better is a spanking.

Ok no updates cuz i am wiped from this frickn shift. Not much knitting done either...almost finished a surprise gift..done some socks. Really i need some mitts and i dont have time to do any. Had to start a nice thick winter sweater coat because i am freezing my butt off in the am.
Class is fun and annoying and takes a lot of energy ( well aint that the usual ? :>)
I love meeting new people so that part is great too. Lots of interesting ones in this class. We're doing a lot of ot which i suppose will help with the paycheque.
The car has proved unreliable.
Kent is wonderful and supportive and damn sexy.
I need to get to bed..hope no one expects lively updates til after i'm off this shift ( latest date to work it is jan 24th i believe)
My apologies to one and all for not emailing..i don't think i'll get to it til im off this shift honestly. All i do is work and try to sleep.
But yanno, i'm not complaining. I live in one of the best countries in the world and one of the most beautiful provinces. Really we live the lives of royalty for other eras...
kisses to all
goodnight

A while ago Kent wrote a lovely sorta poem thing about me in his blog... about how much he loves me.
I wish i had the talent to do the same...i've been so kranky the last coupla days i can't help but that i'm driving him nuts. Sometimes i can't stand myself and i wonder how come any one else does ( maybe cuz they cant hear the crap in my head thank the gods)
Anyhow today i beat him at risk and he took it gracefully. He got up all week with me at 4 am !!, made my breakfast and coffee. Continues to actively love me whether i'm naughty or nice : er..maybe i shouldn't use 'naughty' cuz he likes naughty ;P
But i mean he is so consistant and i am so frickn hormonal. I cried during Lilo and Stitch for pete's sake.
His divorce papers are sitting right beside me :)

Did you know there are tons of ways to play risk? Here's a great link:

http://boardgames.about.com/od/riskrules/

check out the faqs page and learn to play martian risk or 3mile island risk ect.

Ok. I'm gonna eat some corn fritters n listen to his radio show
its available at: www.thex.ca

Finally an update...i've been busy with coaching at work and other stuff. I start work at 5am now which is a friggin' killer. I am hoping to adjust - which apparently takes about a month. Of course, this class ends sometime around the third week of january so i'll just have to adjust back right away anyhow...bleh.
Got a 'new' car - Chrysler New Yorker or Fifth Avenue. It's in great shape but of course needs work. Won't be too much spent on Christmas this year. I'm trying to finish all my knitting for presents but i dont know how far i'll get. Doing some felted purses that i get to dye with koolaid....i love doing that! We won't get down to Victoria til the end of Jan at the earliest :(
I'm very emotional today..crying when guys get cut on Making the cut
I hate hormones!!!!!
Ok back to cleaning and knitting . Oh, and today i'm going to teach K how to do a rad flush and change the air filter on the car. Thats _if_ it doesnt snow too much. We're doing a tune up a little at a time.
OK...i hope all you guys are doing well.
Ea i wish i could make it to Vienna for your exhibit/show it sounds great!! We may be over in the summer...thats the plan anyhow.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You musn't lose it. --Robin Williams

and

what Bruce Cockburn says about manic-depression: "Keep kicking against the darkness until it bleeds daylight."

Try this - type 'weapons of mass destruction' into google - don't press search but press 'i feel lucky' - read the error message!!!!!
Someone at google musta left that when they were fired or something. We'd actually boycotted google for a long time because when we'd try to search for Micheal Moore or Farenheit 911 it'd only bring up things AGAINST the movie.
Anyhow i'm just doing this short note as i've gotten back now from a root canal and i need a nap to get over my dental anxiety induced stress

Well tomorrow i have to work 8.30 to five..thursday too. I'm hoping to catch up on all my emails ( hi Peter and Linda and Tricia and Patti!)tomorrow night.
Coaching stuff at work so it should be easy.
I'm so tired already lol.
Finished Cori's vest except to put the zipper in. It looks great. I've got to knit myself some mitts because its chilly in the evenings when i get off work and i bet when i start working 5ams in december it'll be colder still
gotta get to bed
nightall :)

I'm not sure why but i feel annoyed at the world today...again. Its gotta be hormonal right?
White fur vest for Cori is nearly done. Should be able to finish it at work if we have a typical Sunday with low call volume.
K made awesome chili yesterday. I'm going to work in sweats cuz i just dont care today. And they are presentable.
Yesterday i think i finally decided that what i want to be is a photo journalist. I've been kicking the idea around for ...oh...7 friggin' years....
K is very happy with this idea. He also has been doing his own form of media and journalism for years ( had a tv show on cable for 5 years and has put out a zine on and off for 10..plus the radio show)
I'm thinkn' it means travel and writing... i really decided when i looked out the window yesterday from work at a train passing by
and the sun was all red and orange on it and on the mountains and i could picture myself sitting on that train going somewhere
i feel most alive when travelling because of the unexpectedness ( good for my adrenalin addiction)
and i feel most like i've done something or been somewhere when i'm writing about it
off to work

I was on the phone with Jon the other night ( my son). He was telling me that on the 11th he was at work and some guy he works with went off about wearing poppies. This fellow said " I'm not wearing a poppy because I am not going to support war"
Jon said he had to walk away because he was so angry ( my son is like me in that way - waiting to speak til the big emotion is gone and he can be more rational - it doesn't help to change someone's mind if you yell at them)
Jon said he just wanted to yell " The poppy isnt about supporting war you ass! Its about honouring those who died so you can have freedom and work at frickin Futureshop"
I love my son. :)
We basically have the same political and social opinions. Neither of us support war. But we are both grateful for those that fought against people such as Hitler. Maybe this is hypocritical?
I've been reading my usual quota of knitting blogs. Lately so many have written about their political views only to have people make comments that the aforesaid political stuff is ' not relevant to your journal" or "stick to knitting content please'..and worse.
I hope none of these vocal women stop writing how they feel just to appease the readers of their journals!!
I so do not wish the people of the world to morph into bland carbon copied politically correct wishywashy blehs
I hate ecru.
And fuck GWBush and all his commercialy viable have everything greedy bastard elitist cronies.

Your Lightsaber is Blue

Blue is often associated with depth and stability.
It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom,
confidence, and truth.


What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


What does this meeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn????

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=041111154022-272739

So... first time i've made one of these. Now i'll know if anyone is actually reading this blog lol
hrm..or maybe all my freinds are just lazy?
Anyhow the mouth is still fairly sore. I was hoping to call Peter today but i think i'll wait til i can talk properly.
Nothing big on for today just housework and cooking. And listening to some good music. Boring but cozy.
We stayed up late last night to watch two movies.
*movie review alert*

Shaft - the new one. Bleh. A movie that _could_ have been good but had no edge. Like shaving your legs with a plastic knife.

Almost Famous - I loved this. A slightly implausible but plausible enough movie. Reminded me of my past. Funny. Sad. Funny. I'd watch it again. I loved the soundtrack. Especially because it has one of my most fav one hit wonders " Something in the Air" ~Thunderclap Newman ( T N was a side project of Pete Townsend)
Made me wonder some things...i stopped listening to music about 1982 for about 10 years. I'm thinking that people like me - who felt that we came in on the end of everything because we were born near the ends of decades - Ok i'm realizing this might not make sense to anyone but let me say it to get it out... i think i missed where we went from the protest and peace type songs to the angry and hopeless type. I've listened to lots of metal and punk trying to figure it out and i can only think that 'treehugger' music ( bear with me on my very generalized labeling) and metal types are just two sides of the same coin. One is protesting and trying to - in peace - bring attention to things that are wrong...and the other is pissed off and angry and kicking to make people pay attention... and then venting in an angry hopeless scream of...fear?
Anyone care to discuss this?

I'm back from the dentist..one tooth less and a hard filling done. I'm not going to whine any more than necessary..did i mention i'm terrified of dentists and my intro to them was being whacked in the mouth with a floor hockey stick at 15 and breaking a tooth in half?Anyhow its done.
Being me though, i was very rude and cold to K before i went. I so didnt mean to, and somehow i guess i thought he'd read my mind .... i know when i dropped him at work he was feeling badly and that was my fault. And of course when he calls me soon i still won't be able to talk properly cuz of this cotton in my mouth...he will not feel better. I'm my own worst enemy. I actually panicked at the dentist while in the chair. Had to ask them to stop and i nearly walked out. I hate hate hate that i'm like this. Why can't i be a nice non-dramatic person? Instead i've hurt K and prolly the dentist thinks i'm nuts.
As i said, the good thing is that its over. Til next week...when i go in for a root canal.:(
blah blah..stopped at the bookstore on the way home and bought some books and a new knitting book.
Our brother in law is in the hospital with 2 bloodclots in his lungs. He had to have morphine to sleep but at least he's in the hospital and being taken care of. What a terrifying thing. He's 43 and very healthy. He said the shots hes had weren't too bad but he really expected to be out of the hospital by tomorrow (!!)Of course the doctors have corrected that impression. Sheesh! you can't nearly die and then just walk out can you? It took forever for them to actually get him in a room. That was very scary too...i mean how sick do you have to be to get a bed?
Anyhow...i'm just whining..i'm going to go eat some yogourt and sleep some. Hopefully K will still love me.
( just when i thought i was not dramatic anymore *wipes hand across brow in sorrow while a tiny tear escapes and runs down cheek*)

What a long few days.We had the birthday with all the accompanying shopping first..i fixed the entertainment unit from hell..i worked alot . In fact just got back from work. Now we are up at the station doing K's metal show (www.thex.ca saturday nights at 9pm pst: you can listen online)
It's very rainy out and the fact that the heater is not fixed in the car is becoming very dangerous... with no heater there's no defroster.Plus i am so freezing now from driving with the windows open. So $$ has to go for that and to get snow tires on. We've had snow twice already and some due next week. Last year we really only had a couple of snows so this is hopefully not a harbinger of a bad winter to come.
Work's been odd, very uneven and lots of issues with the computers. Is this month a full moon? ;P
I'm so looking forward to going home and sleeping in ...of course i work again but at least i can sleep late.
Got lots of knitting done on socks at work. It was pretty boring tho because on the weekend not too many people are there..the energy is ssssssssssllllllowww. Ah well i'm boring even myself with this entry lol.
Last night K brought me a dozen pink roses when He picked me up from work :)